Ephemeral
by DisneyAddictGirl
Summary: Tadashi Hamada had it all planned out. He'd meet the love of his life, marry her, and then live happily ever after with her until they're old and grey. He never is able to accomplish the last one.


Hands fought to restrain Tadashi as the ambulance sped down the street. He was fine, he'd only hit his head, he didn't need all this medical attention. He needed to be with Leiko, she was the one who needed the medical attention. Too tired to keep on fighting, Tadashi stopped struggling against the paramedic's gloved hands.

The ambulance eventually came to a stop, they were at the hospital. Good, it meant Leiko would get the help she needed. She was going to be okay…she was going to make it…she had to…

…

_Tadashi breathed in the smell of the sea as he stepped out of the car. The day was beautiful, and as the sand crunched under his feet, Tadashi felt both excitement and fear course through him._

"_Mmm, smells like bird shit," Leiko commented as she joined him. _

_Tadashi snorted and rolled his eyes. "Your way with words never ceases to amaze me, Gogo. I'll get the bags, you go bird watch or something."_

"_Okay!" Leiko called out as she trudged away, a towel in one hand and her sunglasses in the other. Tadashi watched her go before opening the trunk of the car, grabbing their suitcases and hauling them off inside the house. _

_Dropping the bags in their bedroom, Tadashi quickly went to the bottom drawer of their wardrobe, opening it and then taking out the small velvet box from his pockets. He'd told Leiko he needed a break from work and school, so he'd booked them a weekend trip to the beach. While it was all partially true, he'd lied about his main goal. _

_They'd been together for four years already, he knew Leiko was "the one", even though she claimed to hate the whole idea of soulmates._

_Tadashi put the box in the corner and then began stuffing the drawer with socks and underwear. "What are ya doing?" Leiko asked from the doorway, making Tadashi jump. _

"_Uh, putting away the clothes. H-how long have you been standing there?" Tadashi smiled nervously, praying she didn't suspect anything. _

_Leiko shrugged, "Not long," she threw herself on the bed and then groaned. "I'm hungry, can we go out to eat?"_

_Tadashi smiled and nodded, "Yes ma'am."_

_He stood and walked towards the bed, holding his hand out. Leiko grinned gave him her hand, giggling as he hauled her to her feet. He wrapped his arm around her and led them out of the house, not noticing the glance Leiko threw the bottom drawer of their wardrobe. _

…

Tadashi's finger traced the glass. Honey Lemon's hand rested on his shoulder, providing the comfort she knew he needed.

"They're so…small" his whispered, his voice hoarse. His eyes never left the 5-month-old babies inside the incubator. He watched their small chests rise and fall quickly. He'd never told Leiko, but he'd spent endless nights dreaming what it would be like when their babies were finally born. He'd seen it so vividly it was like he could feel their weight and warmth in his arms. Not once had he imagined his children would be kept away from him, in a glass box where he couldn't touch. Not once had he imagined Leiko not being there to hold them.

"They're beautiful," Honey Lemon murmured, squeezing his shoulder. "How's Gogo?"

Tadashi tensed. "S-she's in critical condition, her doctor said-" the sound of a nurse's voice over the PA system interrupted him.

"Code Blue. Room 1214. Code Blue. Room 1214."

Tadashi's heart sank and he jumped to his feet. He turned towards Honey Lemon, his eyes pleading.

"Go!" she said as she stood next to the incubator. Tadashi turned and ran, the hallway seeming endless as he dashed through the hall. Only one thought filled his mind as his feet pounded on the tile.

_Leiko._

…

_Leiko opened her eyes slowly, glaring at the sunlight that poured through the room. Tadashi must have opened the curtains. She groaned and sat up, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. _

_The door to their bedroom creaked open and she looked up to see Tadashi walking in, his hair still a mess and only wearing his boxers. _

"_You're awake!" Tadashi grinned. He was carrying a breakfast tray, and her mouth watered as she caught the smell of waffles. "I figured you'd be too tired from last night," Tadashi winked, and Leiko swatted him, "ow- so I made you breakfast. All your favorites." _

"_I knew I married you for a reason," Leiko sighed, grabbing a fork and digging in. Tadashi laughed at her eagerness, grabbing a fork for himself as they ate in silence. Half way through the meal, she froze. Tadashi looked up to see her with her eyes wide, her face paling. _

"_Gogo?" _

_Leiko threw the fork and scrambled out of bed, barely making it to the bathroom before she emptied her stomach's contents onto the toilet. _

"_What's wrong? I know it wasn't my waffles, I'm famous for them," Tadashi said as he grabbed her hair, rubbing his hand on her back in soothing circles. _

"_I don't know," Leiko breathed once she was done, grimacing at the taste of vomit in her mouth. Tadashi flushed the toilet and then stood, helping her up and walking with her towards the sink. _

"_Well, there is that bug that Hiro caught. Maybe you caught it too. Are you gonna go to the doctor?" he asked, and she nodded as she brushed her teeth. "Good," Tadashi kissed her cheek and then walked out, cleaning up their breakfast while Leiko jumped in the shower. She subconsciously rubbed her stomach as the hot water hit her skin._

…

24 minutes. She'd arrested for 24 minutes. It had felt a lot longer than that, and with each minute that passed, the monitor remaining flat, Tadashi felt like his world was being flipped upside down. Leiko had to make it. Sha had to. They were supposed to grow old together.

His hands trembled as the doctor went on and on about the repercussions of arresting for such a long time.

"…sulted in brain death," the doctor finished, and Tadashi snapped out of it.

"Wait, b-brain death?"

The doctor nodded. Tadashi felt like…well he didn't really know how he felt. It was like time moved in slow motion, yet at lightning speed at the same time.

"…so…she's…never going to wake up?"

The doctor sighed, "We can always hope but… if I'm being honest, no, Mr. Hamada, it's most likely she won't."

A choked sob escaped from Tadashi, but he covered his mouth and closed his eyes, breathing hard, hoping to swallow down the giant knot in his throat.

"W-what now?" he asked, his voice but barely a whisper.

"You can choose to keep her under life support. Or…you could choose to shut it down and let her go."

Tadashi rested his face on his hands. He heard the doctor leave, and that's when he let himself cry. The only person in the room other than himself was Leiko, and she'd always told him to never shy away from crying in front of her. She'd told him that it was okay if they were vulnerable in front of each other.

"_People aren't made of steel, Tadashi, we all feel things. It's okay to show that sometimes_," her voice echoed in his mind.

He pulled his chair close to her bed. She looked so…calm. The only time Tadashi had seen Leiko even remotely this calm was after they'd found out about the pregnancy. She'd spent the whole ride back from the hospital quiet, looking out the window. When they got home however, she'd turned to him, and Tadashi was shocked to see tears in her eyes. "_We…we're going to be a family, Tadashi…WE'RE GOING TO BE A FAMILY_" she'd shouted, and then she ran towards him and jumped into his arms, where they both ugly cried happy tears.

"Oh Gogo," Tadashi smoothed her hair out of her face and flinched when he saw the cuts on her forehead. "…I don't…I don't know what to do," he sobbed, reaching out to grab her hand. It was cold, but Tadashi warmed it with his own while he cried, the beeping of the machines the only other sound in the room.

…

_Twins. She was having twins. Leiko let out a laugh as she sat in her car. Tadashi hadn't been able to make it to the appointment, but she could already picture his reaction as she started the car and backed out of the parking spot. She hoped it would be a boy and girl, baby names popping up in her mind as she made her way home. She thought back to the start of university, back when she was just a determined, yet lonely 18-year-old. She'd met Tadashi in her robotics class, where he'd originally crushed on Honey Lemon. _

_Leiko giggled as she remembered how Tadashi had asked for her help in asking Honey Lemon out. All their attempts failed, but at least they'd gained a new friend in each other. She couldn't, to this day, pin-point when she'd let her feelings for him go from friendship to…something else. She remembers the exact day she realized it, though. _

_Their whole group had attended the country fair, and Tadashi and she had chosen to ride the rollercoaster. They sat in the middle, and when the ride started, he'd grabbed on to her hand and refused to let it go. As they were reaching the top, she'd looked over to see him with his eyes closed. _

_She'd laughed and opened her mouth to say something, but the words died in her throat as the sunlight hit him a certain way. It almost looked like a halo around his head. Tadashi looked…pretty? Tadashi had always been handsome, Leiko may have been emotionally constipated, but she wasn't blind. She could see how easy it was to fall for a guy like Tadashi. Wait._

_As the realization dawned on her, she let out a small, "oh no," just as the rollercoaster went over and sped them towards the ground. She fell that day, in more ways than one. _

…

"I've been thinking of names, Gogo. I know…naming them without you isn't…right, but," Tadashi swallowed the lump in his throat and continued filing his wife's nails. Leiko always liked to have them short and neat. "I can't keep calling them Thing 1 and Thing 2, Honey Lemon already smacked me when I accidentally let the nicknames slip," he chuckled.

A month had passed, and his babies had continued getting stronger. Tadashi was now able to hold their hand through the small arm hole in their incubator.

"I think…I'll name our baby girl Minseo… I read somewhere it means clever and," Tadashi smiled, "You were always cleverer than me, Gogo."

He gently placed her hand back on the bed and shifted to the other side to grab her other hand. "For our baby boy, I was thinking Junseo, partly because it rhymes with Minseo. Apparently, it can mean handsome and comfort. He has to be handsome of course, he's our son, and, I never felt more comfortable with any else but you…"

Tears unwillingly sprung to Tadashi's eyes as he stared at Leiko. She was still beautiful…but so quiet. "I miss you, Gogo…so much," he murmured. The tears were flowing steadily down his cheeks by now, and he didn't bother to wipe them.

"It's so unfair, Gogo. You should be here. These are our children, and they're going to need you! Why are you leaving them? Why are you leaving me?" Tadashi didn't know where all his anger came from, but it hit him like a tidal wave, and he suddenly found himself shooting to his feet and hurling the nail file across the room.

"You-you can't just…leave like this Leiko. We promised we would always be here for better or worse, and I am!" a choked sob escaped Tadashi, and he wiped his tears furiously, "but it's so hard when you're here…but at the same time you're not."

He kneeled next to her, clutching her hand as the black hole inside his chest threatened to collapse everything. "Please come back, Gogo…please!"

"I promise to stop leaving my tools scattered around the house. I promise to stop eating the last pizza slice. I p-promise to…I promise to watch racing with you, and to finally take you to Korea like you always wanted," Tadashi was hyperventilating at this point, but he couldn't stop. "Just come back…please Leiko…come back to me."

…

"_If you knew that being in the car for more than an hour makes me sick, then why did you insist on coming to the beach house?" Leiko asked form her spot on the passenger seat._

_Tadashi reached over and grabbed her hand, giving it a squeeze before kissing it. "Well, A) we need a vacation, and B) your baby bump is showing more, and I want to get pictures of you walking on the beach, babe."_

_Leiko snorted and shook her head. If she didn't love him so much, she'd almost find her husband ridiculous. "You are something else, Tadashi Hamada."_

_Tadashi grinned and looked over at her. "Yeah, but you still love me."_

"_That I do," Leiko tried to reach over and peck his cheek, but the seatbelt and her bump stopped her. "Ugh," she hastily unbuckled herself and leaned over to grab Tadashi's face, planting a big wet kiss on it._

"_Gogo what are you doing? Put your seat belt back on," he looked over at her and she waved him off. _

"_Yeah, yeah, I'm-TADASHI!" _

_The truck came out of nowhere. Tadashi screwed his eyes shut as he tried to slam on the brakes, the sound of screeching, glass breaking, and metal crunching filling his ears. His head snapped forward, hitting the steering wheel, and his world went dark._

_.._

_Tadashi jolted awake, gasping. He pushed the airbag away and took in his surroundings. Their windshield was ruined, and glass had fallen all over his lap._

'_Gogo'_

_Tadashi's head snapped to the passenger seat. It was empty, full of glass, and when he looked up, Leiko's feet were hanging off the dashboard. _

"_L-LEIKO!" _

_He threw the door open and stumbled out, screaming when he saw his wife's body sprawled on the hood of their car. She wasn't moving. _

"_No!" he went forwards to reach for her, when the driver from the other truck ran to him. _

"_Oh my god! I'm so sor-"_

_Tadashi grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him, "Call 911! Call an ambulance!"_

_The driver nodded, and then took his phone out. Tadashi dashed to the other side of the car, crouching next to Leiko. Her eyes were closed, and blood covered her face. 'Please…please don't be…'_

_She was breathing, and Tadashi let out a cry of glee. She was alive…she was alive._

…

Leiko's official due date is a week away, and Tadashi is finally told he can take his babies home. Honey Lemon comes and helps him, carrying Junseo while he carries Minseo. She goes 5 miles under the speed limit and drives around the bumps and plot holes. Tadashi is thankful, and he manages to laugh when she yells in Spanish at a driver who goes around them to speed off. He checks his phone and frowns when he sees that Hiro still hasn't texted him back. He'd let his brother and aunt know he'd be taking the twins home today, because he'd known they would want to be there, but so far there was only radio silence from them.

"Hey, have you heard from Hiro or Aunt Cass today?" Tadashi asks.

Honey Lemon shakes her head, "I've been so busy at work lately, I haven't been able to talk to any of the guys."

"Oh. How is work by the way?"

"Good!" She visibly lights up, and Tadashi smiles, "We're busy, but it's a good type of busy."

Tadashi hums, looking out the window as they drive on. He feels…oddly calm. He's so happy about finally being able to take the twins home, but at the same time, the feeling that something is missing won't leave. He knows what, or more importantly _who_ is missing, but by now Tadashi has accepted that that's the way things are going to be from now on.

"I decided to," Tadashi starts but stops, not knowing how to say it. "I'm going to disconnect Leiko."

Honey Lemon slams on the breaks and Tadashi jolts forwards. He looks back at the twins, but they seem to still be asleep. Honey Lemon is looking at the road, her hands gripping the steering wheel so tight they turn white. He knows how she must be feeling. Leiko was their best friend, even after they all graduated and the rest of their friend group stopped hanging out as much as they'd like, Honey Lemon, Leiko, and Tadashi had always remained close.

He startles when Honey Lemon suddenly grabs his hand, squeezing tight. She looks at him and there's tears in her eyes, but she smiles and nods. "…okay…okay."

She lets go and continues driving, and Tadashi feels a weight be lifted off his chest. He knows when the day comes, he won't be alone.

They arrive at Tadashi and Leiko's apartment, and even though it's long since stop feeling truly like home, Tadashi is glad to be back with his babies. Honey Lemon, who still has their spare key, quickly throws the door open and dashes inside. She looked more excited than he is that he's home, and Tadashi chuckles, stepping inside. The lights are still off, the entire apartment dark, but he's lived there so long he doesn't need the lights to maneuver around.

"WELCOME HOME!"

Tadashi almost drops the twins' car seats as he stepped into the living room, the lights coming on and all his friends and family standing under a "Welcome Home" banner.

"What the- you guys scared the shit out of me!" Tadashi laughs, placing the twins down and meeting everyone in the middle for a group hug. Tadashi can't remember the last time he felt this warm.

A high-pitched wail comes from one of the car seats, and Tadashi is quick to go attend his baby. Junseo's face is scrunched up as he lets out another cry, and everyone crowds around Tadashi as he bounces his son gently in his arms. They all coo at him, and when Aunt Cass picks up Minseo, who's eyes are now wide open and looking around, it seems as if everyone just melts.

When Tadashi had been told he could bring the twins home, he'd been happy, but also afraid. Afraid that the loneliness that had been eating him alive, so much that he eventually packed a bag and started staying with Hiro, would come back full force. He knew taking care of one baby would be hard enough, but two babies, combined with Leiko's absence…he sometimes wondered if he'd be strong enough to do so. But right now, standing in the middle of his living room, friends and family surrounding them, he feels that maybe…just maybe…the loneliness can go away.

…

The halls of the hospital have become so familiar to Tadashi, he doesn't need to look at the map or ask which way to go. He knows where he's going, who's waiting for him, and what he must do. He's signed whatever he needs to sign, now all he needs to do is…say goodbye.

It's sunny, the sunlight filtering in through the blinds, but the air is crisp and nips at the skin, blowing in from the window Tadashi demanded they open so his wife could breathe in the fresh air one last time. Leiko would like it. She's bathed in gold light, and not for the first time Tadashi thinks she looks radiant.

He walks to her bed and grasps her hand. It fits in his like it was meant to be there, and it was, it always will.

"Leiko," he murmurs as the nurse moves around him, shutting off the machines. "It's okay…you can go. Minnie, Jun, and I will be alright."

Tears slowly run down his eyes. "I love you, Leiko Hamada. You were…the love of my life."

He brushes the hair off her forehead, resting his own against it for the last time. "It's okay, love."

The machines have now all been shut off, and Tadashi feels Leiko breathe her final breath. He grips her hand tighter and takes a deep breath. "Until we meet again, my love."

* * *

**If ya'll are sad or mad, blame Lola. Love you!.**


End file.
